It’s not resilience

A contemporary misunderstanding; What most of us commonly refer to as resilience is better explained as mental toughness. Without resilience our mental toughness will undoubtedly demonstrate weakness, but, an individual does not need to be extremely resilient to have the strength of mental toughness.

If you understand mental toughness, then you can improve yours. 

A better explanation of metal toughness is described in sequence; Tolerance, Fortitude, Resilience, and Adaptability. 

These four characteristics reveal how and where mental toughness shows up in our lives, everyday.

Tolerance is your fuse, or rather how long your fuse is. An ability to endure discomfort in the moment. Staying in the workout when your legs burn or when you're gasping for air. Continuing a conversation when it feels awkward, or sitting with frustration. 

Think of Andy Murray, British tennis All-star. Murray arrived on the scene during the era of the "Big Three" of men’s tennis, Federer, Nadal, Djokovic. Beginning in 2008, Murray lost his first four Grand Slam finals. It wasn’t until 2012, when Murray won Olympic gold, his first Grand Slam at the US Open, and eventually won Wimbledon in 2013.

Tolerance is about how long you handle being uncomfortable.

Fortitude is how far you fall, or how little something impacts you when you snap. Because you will snap eventually. Fortitude is how controlled and how measured you are. How you manage yourself mentally, emotionally and physically.

There is no better example of having immense fortitude than Michael Jordan's legendary "Flu Game" in Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals. Jordan was suffering from a severe viral illness and dehydration, nonetheless he stayed courtside to play 44 minutes, scoring 38 points and lead the Chicago Bulls to a crucial victory.

To have fortitude is to remain at baseline regardless of what happens.

Resilience is the time it takes you to recover. It's the time getting back up after failure, how long it takes you to return after injury or find your footing after a setback. Resilience isn’t about avoiding hardship, it’s about bouncing back when hardship inevitably comes.

Unlikely a well known story is that of Bethany Hamilton. In 2003, at just 13 years old, the rising surfing star was attacked by a 14-foot tiger shark in Hawaii, an attack that cost Hamilton her left arm. Unbelievably, Hamilton returned to the ocean just 26 days after the attack. Completely relearning how to balance, paddle, and pop up on a surfboard using only one arm. She went on to compete with the pros and win a national title.

To be resilient is to immediately return to baseline.

Adaptability is your ability to change, grow, learn and acknowledge. It’s changing your plan, learning a new skill, or finding a new path.

Rebecca Romero won an Olympic silver medal for Great Britain in rowing at the 2004 Athens Games. However, due to persistent, agonizing back injuries caused by the asymmetric mechanical strain of rowing, she was forced to quit. But Romero’s athletic career was not over. She transitioned to track cycling, where not only did she have to retrain from an upper-body pulling motion to a lower-body pedalling motion, she also had to overcome the fear of racing in a steep, banked velodrome. Her adaptation was flawless; just four years after ending her rowing career she won Olympic Gold at the 2008 Beijing Games.

Adaptability is where you find your new baseline.

Improved mental toughness creates a better, stronger you. 

Improving mental toughness isn’t just about enduring hardship, it's about knowing. The things that make you snap. About understanding the effect on you when you inevitably do snap. Realising how long it will take you to get back to baseline or what you need to get there. And looking for opportunities to grow, learning from experiences, finding a new baseline. A baseline that is more tolerant, with greater fortitude, more resilient and more adaptable.